50 Things The Marauders Would Never Do
by BlueBird325
Summary: 50 Things The Marauders Would Never Do. The title says it all. A list of 50 things from each marauder, and mabye a few other characters if I can be bothered. Mostly Drabble. Idea from Writer With Sprite's '50 Things Alex Rider Would Never Do'.
1. 50 Things Moony Would Never Do

50 Things The Marauders Would Never Do

A/N: Hi! Recently, I've had an obsession with the Marauders from Harry Potter, and I got the idea for this list from Writer With Sprite, who did a hilarious piece of drabble called '50 Things Alex Rider Would Never Do', so please go read it!

Anyway, I will probably do four chapters in this, one for each Marauder (yes, I'm including Peter Pettigrew, after all, he was a Marauder too!) and all will be drabble. Yay, drabble! But yeah, this is set at the end of the Marauder's Sixth Year, so after the Marauder's Map but before Lily and James start dating. Actually, it would be interesting to write one of these for Lily (and Snape) as well... Anyway, this is my first fic, so please be nice.

Disclaimer:

Me: I had a really cool dream last night.

My Friend: Really? What was it about?

Me: I dreamt I owned Harry Potter.

My Friend: That'll never happen, no matter how much we wish it. Unfortunately.

Me: *sigh* I know, that right goes to J.K. Rowling. It was a good dream though.

I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANYTHING YOU RECOGNISE!

50 Things Moony Would Never Do

_Note to the Teacher: Here's my essay, I hope you like it. To be honest, I don't see the connection between what I would never do and Defence Against The Dark Arts, but you are the teacher, and I trust your judgement._

50. I will never become an illegal animagi, nor will I ever need to be one. An animagi that is, not illegal. But I do hang out with James and Sirius, so I guess it depends on your definition of illegal.

49. I will never become a teacher, no matter what my friends say. I don't mind helping other students with homework and stuff, but I will never be able to stand in front of a class and teach. I just don't think I'd be able to control a class, especially if they are anything like my friends.

48. I will never understand Sirius's obsession with sweets. I like chocolate, sure, but as a general rule I don't like candy.

47. I will never buy expensive robes. Even if I could afford them, they would probably be ruined by the end of the month.

46. I will never tell you what my nickname means, no matter how much you beg. Actually, I half expected you to have guessed by now, it's hardly subtle. I blame Sirius, he choose it.

45. I will never explain to you what my boggart is, so stop asking. I don't know why anyway, and even if I did, I wouldn't tell you.

44. I will never give you a tour of the castle and all it's secret passages. They are for me to know and you to find out. You never know, it might be fun!

43. I will never get perfect attendance, it's not possible. Don't even try.

42. I will never explain to Peter about the birds and the bees. NEVER AGAIN! I have never seen him so red, and I'm pretty sure I was quite red too. That was so awkward...

41. I will never trust Padfoot or Prongs with doing anything serious again. God, that was the worst day of my life, and I just ended up with more work.

40. I will never get a girlfriend, nor will I ever want one. I doubt there is one girl out there who would have me in the first place...

39. I will never understand you. Seriously, how did you get the DADA job?

38. I will never understand your assignments, no matter how much I try. Honestly, what do things I will never do have to do with DADA? I don't see the connection.

37. I will never hand in a late assignment, unless I am in ill.

36. I will never not finish a book, though I might skip a few chapters...

35. I will never like Lemon Drops, no matter how many times Professor Dumbledore offers me one. I will take them though, but mainly to annoy James. He thinks that they have Verita serum in them or something, as if!

34. I will never try to make another Marauder read a book. I once tried to get Peter to read _Hogwarts: A History_, but it didn't go down well. I've never been asked so many questions! In future, I'll just tell them what they need to know.

33. I will never understand how James and Sirius haven't been kicked out of Hogwarts. They cause so much trouble, but I suppose it's because they get good grades, how, I'll never know.

32. I will never betray my fellow Marauders or their secrets. Even if I wanted to, I don't want to get on their bad side. Not that I'd want to, you understand.

31. I will never give Peter caffeine. I've never seen anyone with so much energy! He was still bouncing off the walls a week later.

30. I will never led James my broomstick, no matter how much he asks. He can take a school broom next time, I don't want a repeat of last time. I ended up with a smashed broom that had flown into the Whomping Willow and ended up as fire-wood. He can buy his own broom, he still owes me one.

29. I will never try teaching James transfiguration ever again, no matter how behind he may seem. He ended up pointing out all the flaws in the textbook and explaining why Professor McGonagall was wrong. I never thought I was going to get him to shut up!

28. I will never burn a book. They are too precious with so much information in, with the exception of every one of our Care of Magical Creatures textbooks, they are full of bull.

27. I will never be gay. Honestly, I don't know how that rumour got around. It's Sirius who is bi, not me!

26. I will never understand why anyone would want to read this list. It's mostly me rambling on about nothing in particular, so why you would want to read it is beyond me.

25. I will never try to have a serious conversation with Sirius. Last time I tried to he ended up laughing at every other word I said, seriously, that guy has a really dirty mind. Then again, it was in first year...

24. I will never see James or Sirius as responsible adults. I doubt they even know what that means.

23. I will never say never, hang on...

22. I will never eat everything on my plate. If I don't want it, Sirius will eat it. If I do want it, Sirius will eat it anyway. I don't really have much choice in the matter.

21. I will never tell you what our next prank will be, that would ruin the surprise!

20. I will never tell you how I know where you are. It's a secret.

19. I will never tell you the password for Gryffindor Common Room. Are you even allowed in there?

18. I will never explain what happened to Snape. Whatever it was, he deserved it. Probably.

17. I will never explain my fear of silver jewellery to you. I just don't like it.

16. I will never talk to you about 'dark' creatures. It's a waste of breath and a waste of time as I know you will never change your opinion.

15. I will never find the Room of Requirement, no matter how much I search. It keeps changing and is really hard to find, so much so that it has evaded myself and the other Marauders for six years. That's an impressive feat.

14. I will never explain to you why you found me in the forest on Christmas Eve. Nor will I ever tell you how I was punished for being out after hours. Let's just say my punishment fitted the crime.

13. I will never tell you why I know my way around the Forbidden Forest. It doesn't help that I don't really remember why, anyway.

12. I will never tell you where I get my ideas from. I have lots of sources, and you really don't want to meet them when hyper.

11. I will never give Sirius sugar, no matter how much he begs. It is hard to resist those puppy-dog eyes, though...

10. I will never leave my friends when Sirius has got his hands on sugar. Good lord, one hyper teen is bad enough, I don't want the rest of them in that state.

9. I will never tell you where I get my chocolate from. It's for emergencies.

8. I will never tell you where I keep my chocolate. If you ask me again, I will tell you something that would scar you for life, no matter how tough you think you are.

7. I will never give you any chocolate. Not even if you are attacked by dementors. You should know the way to the kitchens now, go get some from the house-elves yourself.

6. I will never 'forget' to wake up the other boys in my room. That was a really mean prank, though it was funny to see them coming into breakfast.

5. I will never lend you spare parchment. Honestly, you're a teacher, you should carry some around anyway.

4. I will never eat anything James gives me.

3. I will never use James's stuff.

2. I will never take anything James has. Full stop.

1. I will never ride a broom willingly. I mean, its so unsafe to fly really high up on just a piece of wood. I've seen James after some Quidditch matches, and I really don't want the same thing to happen to me.

_Please not that these are in no particular order, and I am hopeful you will grade my work to the best of your abilities._


	2. 50 Things Wormtail Would Never Do

A/N: At the moment, I'm using FanFiction as an excuse to not do any work. Apart from anything else, it's more fun! Anyway, here's Wormtail's essay. I aim to update something every Sunday, but I really wanted to get something out and I couldn't believe how many people had already read my first chapter!

Anyway, if you think the lists are in a similar order, you are probably right. But remember, the Marauders usually copied Moony's homework, like how Ron and Harry are always begging Hermione to let them copy her homework.

Enjoy!

Disclaimer:

Random Stranger: *runs up to me in the street* Hey! You are the girl who owns Harry Potter, aren't you?

Me: Alas, I don't own Harry Potter, that would be J.K. Rowling. I don't even look like that wonderful woman.

Random Stranger: But I've seen you write Harry Potter fanfiction!

Me: Exactly, FANfiction. Sorry, but you've got the wrong person.

Random Stranger: Oh, oh well. I'll just go find J.K. Rowling instead then. Byez! *runs away*

I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER OR THE MARAUDERS OR ANYTHING YOU RECOGNISE!

50 Things Wormtail Would Never Do

_Note to teacher: Um...er...this is...my essay. Please give me a good mark, mum will kill me if I fail another class._

50. I will never do anything illegal. I don't think I'd last long in front of the ministry anyway. And I'd do anything to stay out of Azkaban.

49. I will never like teachers. They tend to scare me and I never like it when they give us homework or detention. Sorry Professor, but it's true.

48. I will never share Sirius's passion for sweets. Apart form anything else, Remus doesn't like it when I eat sugar. I can't think why...

47. I will never buy expensive stuff. I don't have the confidence and will just end up giving them to one of my friends.

46. I will never tell you what my nickname means. Ask someone else, preferably Sirius. He chose it in the first place.

45. I will never stand in front of a boggart. They scare me too much, which I guess is the point...

44. I will never show you around the castle. Ask someone else, I always get lost anyway.

43. I will never miss a lesson. I'd hate to think what would happen if I did, I don't want to get into trouble.

42. I will never ask Remus about the birds and the bees. Don't ask. Maybe I should speak to Sirius next time...

41. I will never believe everything James and Sirius say. I will only believe them if Remus says so.

40. I will never get a girlfriend. I'd just get nervous and sweaty and she'd get bored quickly. Anyway, Sirius has already said he'd look after any girl who became interested in me. Isn't he nice?

39. I will never understand you, or anyone for that matter.

38. I will never understand these assignments. But if you say so and Remus does them, then I guess it's al-right.

37. I will never hand in a late assignment, I'd be too scared of a detention.

36. I will never finish a book. Remus once tried to get me to read _Hogwarts: A History_, but I didn't understand any of it. Actually, I still don't understand it, even after Remus explained it to me, and that was just the first chapter...

35. I will never have a Lemon Drop. James says that Professor Dumbledore puts something in them.

34. I will never try and read a book. I just don't understand them. If I need to know anything, Remus will tell me.

33. I will never pass all of my exams without help. I'm warning you now, I'll never be able to keep up with the others.

32. I will never betray the Marauders. Without a reason. They keep me safe at school as long as I'm loyal to them.

31. I will never have caffeine ever again. Remus said I was a nightmare and won't let me have any more. James and Sirius enjoyed it, though.

30. I will never have a broomstick. I'd probably break it.

29. I will never be able to teach anyone anything. I can barely do _Expelliarmus,_ let alone being able to help.

28. I will never burn a book. Remus would kill me. Unless it's a Care of Magical Creatures book, then he'd probably praise me.

27. I will never understand why anyone would want to read this list. It doesn't have anything useful in it anyway.

26. I will never be a responsible adult. I don't know what it means, but Remus and Lily Evans say 'responsible' a lot whenever they yell at James or Sirius.

25. I will never eat everything on my plate, unless it's potatoes. I love potatoes. Sirius tends to eat everything else.

24. I will never plan a prank. I'm not inventive enough and I'd never know what spells to use.

23. I will never know where anything is. I'll just ask another Marauder if I really want to know.

22. I will never tell you the password for Gryffindor Common Room. I don't want to see your face in the morning, not that you don't have a nice face...

21. I will never do anything to Snape. Most of my spells probably won't work. I'll just leave it to James or Sirius.

20. I will never talk to you about anything. I won't know what you are talking about.

19. I will never find any new rooms or passages, nor will I ever remember where they are.

18. I will never tell you how I know my way around the forest. I only have a vague idea anyway.

17. I will never have an original idea.

16. I will never give Sirius sugar. He is scary when hyper.

15. I will never be around when Sirius has found some sugar. I will probably be hiding in the dorms until James or Remus calm him down.

14. I will never have any chocolate. If I need some, Remus always carries some.

13. I will never tell you the way to the kitchens. I think you should know by now anyway.

12. I will never rely on Remus to wake me up. At least, not on his own. Apparently I'm really hard to wake in the morning.

11. I will never have any spare parchment. If I need some, I can ask Remus. He always has something to write on.

10. I will never eat anything James gives me, no matter how tasty it looks.

9. I will never use James's stuff, he's probably pranked it.

8. I will never take anything James has. He'll just get mad.

7. I will never do anything Sirius or James say. Note; the lake is freezing in December.

6. I will never go swimming ever again. The lake is freezing any time of the year.

5. I will never get an O grade, or an E, probably. I'm not that good.

4. I will never like worms, despite my nickname. Again, blame Sirius, he chose it.

3. I will never believe what I read in a tea-cup. Honestly, I'll lose everything and be stopped by a mini deer? What sort of prophecy is that? I'm not that bad, surely.

2. I will never give you a map. Especially ours.

1. I will never give Sirius anything to eat. He gets suspicious every time I offer him something. I don't blame him, though, pink really isn't his colour.

_Please note these points are in no order. I just wrote them as I thought of them._

A/N: So what do you think? I know Peter's character seems to change the further down you get, but I was running out of ideas. Speaking of, if any of you have ideas for these, please tell me in a review or PM and I will credit you. Thanks for reading and please review!


	3. 50 Things Padfoot Would Never Do

A/N: Sorry guys, I didn't get round to properly editing this, but I will as soon as possible. Anyway, here is Padfoot's list! I really began to run out of ideas as I reached the end, I have no idea how I'm going to do Prongs.

On another topic, I have had a new idea for a fanfiction! I doubt I'll actually put it on the site until I have written most of it, but it means I am writting soming with an actual plot. It's a Merlin fic and I got the idea listening to "Don't Leave" by the Ministry of Magic, so you can blame it on Harry Potter _and_ Merlin!

Disclaimer:

Me:I can't be botheredto think of another one of these, so I'm just going to say it... I don't own Harry Potter or the Marauders. Get it yet?

I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER OR THE MARAUDERS OR ANYTHING YOU RECOGNISE!

50 Things Padfoot Would Never Do

_Note to teacher:I am awesome! No, really. Anyway, this is my awesome essay written by yours truly. I hope you enjoy learning more about me._

50. I will never be legal. It would ruin my bad-boy image. It's probably gonna be illegal to even know me someday…

49. I will never become a teacher. Honestly, can you even see Professor Dumbledore hiring me?

48. I will never give up my obsession with sweets. It's mainly to annoy Remus, to be honest. Seriously, how can you only like Chocolate? Mark my words Moony, the sweet gods will have their revenge!

47. I will only buy the best robes. Even if I end up ruining them. The only advantage of being a Black is that I have access to the (huge) family vault.

46. I will never tell you what my nickname means. I will only tell you that I made it up.

45. I will never have a boggart. I am so clever and brave, I am probably a boggart's boggart! OK, that's unlikely, but I don't want the rest of the class to know my secret.

44. I will never show you around the castle's hidden passages. They are my secret, and I don't want to be caught snogging by a teacher. Er… can you forget I said that?

43. I will never get perfect attendance. Skiving is just too much fun!

42. I will never be trusted with anything serious ever again. I have never seen Remus that bad, but a boy's bathroom has to be blue!

41. I will never keep dating someone longer than 3 weeks. It's too much fun to be single!

40. I will never understand you. You are just so perfect! Please give me the good marks I deserve!

39. I will never understand the reason behind your assignments. But hey, whatever floats your boat!

38. I will never hand this assignment in on time. I'm forewarning you now.

37. I will never hand anything in on time. It's great fun seeing how long you can keep them waiting! I really shouldn't have said that…

36. I will never finish a book, nor will Remus ever make me. I think he learnt his lesson with Peter and James.

35. I will never eat a lemon-drop, no matter how many times Dumbledore offers me one. The only time we are in his office is when we are in trouble, and James thinks he puts Verita Serum in them or something, and I don't want to give away any secrets. They do look nice, though…

I will never understand why I haven't been kicked out of Hogwarts. Honestly, me and James cause so much trouble, and either Remus or Lily Evans (who James has a serious but pointless crush on) are always yelling at us for something.

33. I will never betray my fellow Marauders, no matter what. This dog is always loyal to his friends.

32. I will never give Peter caffeine, unless I really want to annoy Remus. It was so funny, and he still had energy a week later.

31. I will never lend James my broomstick. I saw what happened when he asked Remus. Actually, I don't understand why Remus had a broomstick in the first place, he hates them.

30. I will never try teaching James anything. Remus tried once, and it was so funny to watch them. James contradicted everything he said and wouldn't shut up! In the future, James is the one I go to for help with transfiguration.

29. I will never be completely straight. Why would you only want to limit yourself to one gender?

28. I will never tell Remus that I spread the rumour about him being gay, he'd kill me. Although it was interesting that everyone thought we were a couple after that. He's my mate and all, but he's more my brother than my lover.

27. I will never understand why anyone wouldn't want to read this list. Seriously, keep it safe, most people in the school probably want to get their hands on it.

26. I will never have a serous conversation with Remus. It was just so funny! That boy is often too innocent for his own good.

25. I will never be a responsible adult. Despite what Remus says, I do actually know what that means.

24. I will never stop finishing what's on other people's plates. Food always tastes better when you've nicked it from Remus or Peter.

23. I will never tell you what our next prank will be. It wouldn't be as funny or surprising. I know my surprise pranks are what you live for, variety is the spice of life, and all that.

22. I will never tell you the password for Gryffindor Common Room, I'm sorry, but I don't think my friends would appreciate it. But I could give you the password for Slytherin Common Room if you really wanted…

21. I will never explain what happened to Snape. He definitely deserved it, though.

20. I will never talk to you about a serious topic, especially if my friends object. Sorry, honey, but I'm very loyal.

19. I will never find the Room of Requirement. We've been here six years and still not found it, so it probably doesn't exist.

18. I will never tell you why I know my way around the Forbidden Forest. All I can tell you is to avoid a black dog in there at the full moon.

17. I will never give you any ideas, without any sugary bribes. Apparently I can be quite scary when I am at my most creative, though, you have been warned.

16. I will never tell you how I became so good at the puppy-dog eyes. Let's just say it comes with the territory.

15. I will never find out where Moony keeps his chocolate. He probably gets it from the kitchens (the house elves aren't exactly difficult to get food from), and anyway, he won't let me have any.

14. I will never tell you the story of my life. You would be too traumatized to reach the end, poor you!

13. I will never eat anything James gives me without him having, in writing, proof that he did nothing to it.

12. I will never take James stuff and not return it. Come on, he's my best mate! He's probably pranked it.

11. I will never stop trying to prank Wormtail. I know he's my friend, but he's just too gullible!

10. I will never take anything Wormtail gives me. He got bored one day and decided it would be great fun to turn my hair pink. Stupid rat.

9. I will never leave my friends alone, whether they want me there or not. I will stand by their side in their darkest hour, and I will watch them pee. That's how determined I am.

8. I will never tidy my room. You call it mess, I call it organized chaos. At least this way I know where everything is.

7. I will never follow The Dark Lord, no matter what my family say. They will have to drag me kicking and screaming before I even think of becoming a death eater.

6. I will never be a 'true Black', nor will I ever want to be. Our family home is so dark that you can't actually see any windows.

5. I will never meet Santa. As Remus so kindly told me, he is a fictional character. Can you believe that?

4. I will never know the difference between a goblet and a chalice. All I know is that we transfigured animals into goblets in second-year.

3. I will never like custard. I have nightmares about shark-infested custard after Lily Evans told me that muggle joke. And she said it would be harmless...

2. I will never like Winter, everything is so cold. Christmas is nice, though, I like Christmas.

1. I will never understand the Sorting Hat. It comes up with the weirdest songs at the start-of-term feast( although I do like listening to them, they are the only thing that is worth paying attention to) and it came up with some really random stuff when I was being sorted.

_Please note that these are in no conscious order, nor will I ever be completely sober when doing divination. *hic*_


	4. 50 Things Prongs Would Never Do

**Author's Note: I'm baaack! Mstly coz my friends keep pestering me, but meh. This was already mostly finished, so I completed it. I will mark this story as completed now, mostly because it is kind of difficult to come up with 50 original things each chapter. I might return to it one day, but don't hold your breath.**

**In other news, I have decided that I will not update any of my fics until I have finished writting them to save me from losing interest and leaving it on a cliffhanger. I will finish all my current fics before I upload any more.**

**Also, I moved school since my last update, and my home life hasn't been peaceful. However, my new friends are all fangirls and like my writing, so be sure that they will drive me to distraction. until I update, as they seem to be fans of my work and hate authors who never update.**

**...I think that's it. Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>50 Things Prongs Would Never Do<p>

_Note to teacher: Here's my essay, sorry if it's late. Please believe whatever excuses I gave you._

50. I will never be sober when in Divination. Apparently, it helps clear my inner eye. Really, it helps me come up with meaningless gibberish.

49. I will never do anything completely legal. Lily says that the muggle phrase 'rules are meant to be broken' fits my outlook on the law. Really, I don't want to break rules, only bend them. Ha, bend...

48. I will never be responsible. Honestly, I'd probably send my kid insane, let alone a room full of students. It would be funny to see if I could make Dumbledore _really _mad, though.

47. I will never dislike sweets. Sirius says that the sweet gods would be mad if I did, but I'm pretty sure he only made them up to wind up Remus.

46. I will never explain my nickname, but feel free to guess...

45. I will never give you a tour of the castle. Marauders privilege, sorry.

44. I will never get perfect attendance. If you want to know where I am, follow the explosions. I'll be skiving with Sirius.

43. I will never be trusted with anything serious ever again. Ask Remus, if you really want to know. I swear, I saw his hair turn grey when he found us.

42. I will never win over Lily Evans. She's too hot to give up on though, I might get lucky...

41. I will never understand you, *hands up defensively* not for lack of trying though...

40. I will never understand your assignments. This has been quite fun, compared to some of them.

39. I will never hand in an assignment on time. I'm with Sirius on this, it's fun to see how far you can stretch your teacher.

38. I will never finish reading a chapter, let alone a book. I'd like to see Remus try.

37. I will never be kicked out of Hogwarts. If they threaten to, I'll just pay them off; I certainly have enough money for it.

36. I will never eat a lemon-drop, especially if Professor Dumbledore was the one offering. I'm convinced he laces them with Veritas Serum so that we confess to... whatever it is we've actually done this time.

35. I will never betray the Marauders. We are like family, and we stick by each other.

34. I will never give Peter caffeine. Again. I was curious last time, and it was fun for me and Sirius to watch Remus trying to calm him down, but I share a room with the kid, and he had a lot of energy.

33. I will never forget my broomstick. Last time I did, I borrowed Remus' and it ended up flying into the Whomping Willow. He wouldn't speak to me for a week! It's not my fault his broom sucked...

32. I will never have Remus try to tutor me. Last time he did, I just started contradicting him and correcting the textbook. It was so funny! I don't think he'll try again anytime soon.

31. I will never burn a book. Remus would kill me. And trust me, he could if he really wanted to.

30. I will never understand why you would read this list. Yes, I am awesome, but you have to read the same thing from EVERY KID IN THE CLASS! Be prepared, Sirius can be very dirty-minded when he wants to be...

29. I will never be responsible; it's part of my charm. Lily seems to like 'responsible' though; perhaps I should try it...

28. I will never nick food from Sirius' plate. That guy is seriously protective of his food.

27. I will never grow a beard. They are scratchy and would never suit my face.

26. I will never get fat, no matter how much Sirius teases me about my waist. I am not fat!

25. I will never kill someone. Unless they threaten my friends, in which case I reserve the right to get angry.

24. I will never give a teacher some parchment. You're teachers; you should be able to bring your own!

23. I will never reproduce. Can you imagine the headache that would come from little me's running around? I know I'm enough of a handful as is, I feel bad for the mother.

22. I will never praise the sweet gods. Sirius says that if enough people do, lemon drops will rain from the sky. I think it's nonsense, but it would explain were Dumbledore gets all those lemon drops from.

21. I will never like My Chemical Romance. Apparently they are a very popular muggle band, but I don't get what all the fuss is about.

20. I will never climb a lamppost. Apart from anything else, I'm not that skilled.

19. I will never be gay. I know Sirius says it means you get the best of both, but girls are more than enough for me.

18. I will never learn another language. If I wanted to, I could just cast a translation spell.

17. I will never understand why Hogwarts does not teach Maths. I know we all should be able to count by 11, but most wizarding kids don't go to school until Hogwarts. Why are we not all illiterate?

16. I will never disown anyone from my family. I've seen how much that can mess people up, and I'd never wish that on anyone, especially if they are still in school.

15. I will never tell you my work-out secrets. What, you think I got this body by magic? (On second thoughts…don't ask)

14. I will never wear a dress. Seriously, I'm a guy, why would I want to?

13. I will never understand electricity, no matter how often it is explained to me.

12. I will never tell you my beauty secrets. I am a natural hunk! There are no products involved *sweats nervously*.

11. I will never look at the stands during a quidditch game. That wasn't fair, Lily!

10. I will never set fire to Snape. Lily says it was very immature of me and should never happen again. It was funny though…

9. I will never betray Hagrid. Or explain where I got the hair-growth potion from.

8. I will never explain why Fang is a coward. It involved a hyper rat, an Asian priest and two rock cakes.

7. I will never tickle a sleeping dragon. Siriusly, I wonder what the founders were thinking!

6. I will never like potions. And can someone please explain why all the lessons are in the dungeons?

5. I will never be good at art. Even my stick people look like they were drawn by a drunkard in his sleep.

4. I will never eat gilliweed. No, you don't want to know what I was doing for that hour in the lake.

3. I will never cut down the Whomping Willow. It holds too many memories for me now.

2. I will never explain where we got the inspiration for the new school song. And yes, we were just as surprised as you when Dumbledore made that announcement!

1. I will never understand where my family got it's wealth. All I will say is that the Potters and the Blacks used to be close… allies.

_Please note: I am too awesome to fail. And did I mention you look beautiful today?_


End file.
